Fixing Problems In A Marriage

relationship problemsWhen you have a significant other, it is natural for there to be some snags in the relationship. You have two totally different personalities, habits and communication skills. Although all relationships go up and down, successful couples have learned how to manage those ups and downs and to fix relationship problems in a marriage, according to the author of The Marriage Turnaround by Mitch Temple. They learn how to work through their issues of everyday life as they hang in there and tackle their problems. Many do this by observing other successful couples or by using trial and error, reading self-help books along with articles and attending seminars and going to counselors.

Major Problems For Relationships

1. Poor Communication – According to Elaine Fantle Shimberg, author of Blending Families all relationship problems stem from poor communication. She said that you can’t communicate if you are checking your email, watching TV or reading the paper.

2. Problems In The Bedroom – Even if you are in love with someone, sexually it may not be a perfect fit. Sex can bring you closer together and it releases hormones that can keep the chemistry of a healthy couple healthy and helps our bodies both mentally and physically.

3. Other Common Problems Of Relationships:

  • Fighting over money and stress is the most cited problems that couples can face. When couples fight about money, the dispute is symbolic of something else like issues that surround money, different values and power struggles. As we go through tough economic times there are more conflict over the things in your lives rather than money making the financial stress actually because more general stress.
  • Children bring in a whole different world. They are wonderful additions to a family but also can be very stressful. It usually takes two parents at home to raise a happy adjusted child.
  • Daily Stress – Your daily stress has no place in your marriage and it can make the problems that you already have even bigger. It can test your patience as well as your optimism and it can take away from giving emotionally to each other.
  • Busy Schedules – Overly-busy schedules can also be a problem causing additional stress and can cause a person to take less care of themselves, for instance,not getting good quality sleep or even, eating right. The schedule itself may not necessarily cause problems it can just add to it because of the stress.
  • Poor Communication – This is a big reason for marriage problems and for all relationship in general. Negative communication is usually a sign that the marriage will not work and the lack of communication is perpetuated.
  • Bad Habits – Usually, the couples could save the relationship if only they stepped back and looked at their own bad habits. People fall into lazy personal habits, argue over petty things, nag and are critical or leave messes for the other to clean. It’s very easy to fall into a rut.

Problem solving strategies:

  • You can start by making an appointment with each other. Put the kids to bed, let the voice mail pick up those calls or if you live together, you can put your phones on vibrate.
  • If you have trouble communicating without screaming at each other, then you need to schedule your meeting in a public place where you can’t raise your voice like a restaurant, library or the park where you would be embarrassed if you threw a fit.
  • Start setting some rules. Don’t interrupt your partner and ban phrases that you shouldn’t use, for instance, “you never” or “you always.”
  • Using your body language to show you are listening shows you care and also it gives the partner respect.
  •  Don’t look at your watch, pick at your nails or doodle.  Nod so the other one can tell that you are listening to them and understand them.

Just about any problem can be fixed as long as you are willing to work on it. You can change the dynamic of the relationship or even go to a therapist if need be. It is possible for counseling to work and to maintain a happy marriage.